Saturday, October 8, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Making a fool look like one
It's friday the only day i am happy to wake up really early. I also like saturdays but because someone decided friday should come before saturday then i have an option than have it as an opportunity cost in list of preference for the best of days. On fridays i never forget my schedule and to do list. This one was not any different, my plan was to be 2000sh richer by mid day and this was simplified by the fact that it was 1st of April, the only day you can get money from those mkono ngamus. Can you believe that i made the money only 2hrs after waking up! One of my uncles was hunting for a 'nice' phone which is not expensive and he had narrowed down on the nokia 5230. So i called him at eight in the morning and in a 'can not believe it tone' told him how Safaricom has this crazy easter offer that prices the phone at 8,499 sh but the problem was i want to buy the phone for him but the offer was valid while stocks last and i only had 6,000sh with me. So if he sends me the remaining 2,500 i would by one of the two 5230s in stock. He asked me to give him 5mins and he will put together the money. As promised, 5mins later i was sh 2,500 richer and him without a phone. He had just sold it to raise the money. Right neither him nor my cousins want to hear my name. I guess right now they are discussing how mbare ya ng'ania is full of cons but caring is the least of my worries. On top of the list is how i will drink 2,500 sh worth of smino with smino in the mix coming to town and my gal not coming with them. At this i invite any willing chick reading this to come and join me kesho. Leo you can only meet me karibu na dj in ma fav joint. Gat go time to drink then dance. NB: Not dance and drink. Drink must come 1st.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Child love haunt
Today i woke with the physique of a college kid and i was fully armed to face the day head on, especially after a bad dream where Somali pirates had held ma and other of my former school mates hostage in our own school. I dindt make much of the dream coz i knew it is almost impossible for it to be true. I had to let it out coz a kisii friend told me if you share a dream it wont realize but if you keep it to yourself then you have a chance of realizing the dream. this means that you only share dreams that you cant risk happening, but those dreams of you kissing and flirting with Monster Gaga have to be squeezed far away from you mouth or fingers as much as you always want to share it with your friends. i am not superstitious but i always play safe, after all it never hurts. This dream was however more of coincidence coz of the presence of one the female characters but thats for a later date. I dint clearly remember my plans for the day and since i don't keep a diary i had to do with those that i dare not forget. one was to find the first girl i ever kissed. It has been centuries since i last saw her lips even on social networks but believe it or not i have her number but i can bring myself to calling her coz i fear may be she lost the sparkle or she has turned out to be a slut. My investigations indicated that she is in a Kenyan university at the coast though am not quite sure which. If anyone knows her whereabouts he or she can contact me. By the way her name is Hellen Wanjiru. Just tell me of her behavior and whether her lips are still wet and sexy. At that i dint quite know my taste but i must admit in that case i had outdone myself. She was in class six when i was in class five. Older guys wanted a piece of her but coz game yangu ilikuwa juu, it's is by the way, i won the whole of her heart and i would love to do it all over again. History repeats itself mark you. I got a thing of sunny days which so ironical coz i have always wanted to be a vampire coz i surely cant stand a wrinkled wife and as a vampire i will for ever get the hot women who i will run away from when the aging acid starts eating into them. But for now i will do with some growing up or should i have said growing older.I spent the whole day in a t shirt,the privileges that comes with the informal sector employment, but they was nothing good in it to smile about.
getting the gal of my dream.
Let's get started. Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she's so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is - faint heart, never won fair lady.
The first dating idea for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.
How to make her fall in love with you? Take your time. Add some romance to your dating style. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was 'Yours Secret Admirer.' The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hallo Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me and made a date in the romantic manner.
Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.
A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.
Make the girl feel special; because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.
In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.
Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.
You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?
Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.
The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.
Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.
The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.
I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!
The first dating idea for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.
How to make her fall in love with you? Take your time. Add some romance to your dating style. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was 'Yours Secret Admirer.' The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hallo Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me and made a date in the romantic manner.
Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.
A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.
Make the girl feel special; because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.
In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.
Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.
You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?
Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.
The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.
Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.
The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.
I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!
Monday, March 28, 2011
newbie
I created this Google blog since my usual blog site keeps on failing often especially when i need to let it all out and i end doing nastier things to relieve the pressure. i don't mean i am hysterical though some times i wish am. I have fallen in love with the adrenaline rush that comes with hysteria and if i was in the medical field believe me when i say i would have already separated the hormones that cause the rush and parked them for commercial use. that's just a preview of who i am, yeah a Kikuyu. no a business man. i see money in every shit and i will think twice if you offer to buy a glass of mango juice that i purport it can heal breast cancer and syphilis as if they are even related. but i still think they are related, i mean they both affect serious parts of the human body. Away from my hustling stories i wish i would be updating this blog daily but the thing is when you are job hunting or plan to you should share little of yourself because shit happens and your boss to be might find interesting archeological artifacts of your life. i am talking of sensitive information that you would only risk your mum knowing and no one else including your spouse. so i will be writing so little in the mean time just as precaution. when i woke this morning(thanks to a snoozed alarm) i wished it was a Friday night so that the weekend can start all over again. that is always my wish every week day but i think my line of thinking and reality have a rather complicated relationship. i love weekends coz of the carelessness of chicks, drunk chicks, makes me wonder whether those activist who fight for women rights are always on weed syrup or something cheaper. they could dedicate all this energy to a more charitable cause like good governance or something else of equal value to that. call me a sexist but i don't care coz you are entitled to an opinion no matter how eccentric and witless it is it only proves that you are made from recycled parts and hopefully you dint get a rabbit brain. am geared for a successful sunny day not unless you throw some shit on it coz i will just puke and pule coz i don't cry. mama told me men don't cry so i go for the alternative.
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